dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
