nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my sisters under your porch take her home
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
