Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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