trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize