Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
