YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Congratulations! We have a period
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