She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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