i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
