the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
