and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize
