He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize