Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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