Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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