Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
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The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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