I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
