with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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