i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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