i think my mom watched the whole time
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
