ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize