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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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