You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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