I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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