okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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