Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
