Your face is a jimmy john
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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