someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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