I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
