ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.