we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.