its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
