ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
