That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
