he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
