I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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