Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.