At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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