Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
