is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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