She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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