Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
