She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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