k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
