he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
