You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
