Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.

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  (608): I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name. http://tfl.nu/o57y
  Replies (23) Good night (1731) Bad night (535)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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  (225): Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee http://tfl.nu/zf15
  Replies (29) Good night (5912) Bad night (1259)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

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  (307): mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her. http://tfl.nu/aq8k
  Replies (11) Good night (6576) Bad night (980)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril

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  (603): judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril http://tfl.nu/m6dd
  Replies (21) Good night (5161) Bad night (1057)
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  (315): View more from New York

  MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!

  (315): View more from New York

  AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

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  (315): MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!! (315): AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/witt
  Replies (16) Good night (6040) Bad night (1427)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

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  (416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4867) Bad night (1367)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

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  (727): found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain? http://tfl.nu/or8y
  Replies (3) Good night (2632) Bad night (1250)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty

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  (217): Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty http://tfl.nu/906v
  Replies (10) Good night (2124) Bad night (598)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.

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  (774): We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot. http://tfl.nu/pm9n
  Replies (7) Good night (1796) Bad night (548)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?

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  (719): Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/wrx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1295) Bad night (500)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You have to summon your inner elephant

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  (206): You have to summon your inner elephant http://tfl.nu/wpzr
  Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (374)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.

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  (248): David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed. http://tfl.nu/8lak
  Replies (0) Good night (935) Bad night (394)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.

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  (808): well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club. http://tfl.nu/3hkg
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (210)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.

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  (315): I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint. http://tfl.nu/31gg
  Replies (4) Good night (434) Bad night (243)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.

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  (774): I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel. http://tfl.nu/y9e0
  Replies (0) Good night (711) Bad night (213)

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