neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
