I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.