Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups