i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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