Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you high?

  (510): View more from California

  No. That's why it's odd

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  (510): I think I speak chipmunk. Odd. (702): Are you high? (510): No. That's why it's odd http://tfl.nu/ybok
  Replies (5) Good night (2317) Bad night (717)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.

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  (484): Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me. http://tfl.nu/3y7i
  Replies (6) Good night (671) Bad night (4207)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.

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  (305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming. http://tfl.nu/oxhe
  Replies (140) Good night (1900) Bad night (38329)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.

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  (267): She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point. http://tfl.nu/pwj5
  Replies (28) Good night (5251) Bad night (1883)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs

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  (678): Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs http://tfl.nu/z2xs
  Replies (2) Good night (1240) Bad night (2007)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.

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  (309): Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime. http://tfl.nu/y0wv
  Replies (8) Good night (2161) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Soooo, coming over soon?

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  (906): I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner (503): Soooo, coming over soon? http://tfl.nu/cs7r
  Replies (22) Good night (3492) Bad night (676)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.

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  (940): Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things. http://tfl.nu/0rsv
  Replies (10) Good night (1978) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.

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  (724): dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another. http://tfl.nu/986r
  Replies (7) Good night (517) Bad night (1716)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point

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  (828): At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point http://tfl.nu/0f47
  Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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  (724): If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF! http://tfl.nu/xzr6
  Replies (14) Good night (1578) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual

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  (937): Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual http://tfl.nu/83u7
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.

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  (303): It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple. http://tfl.nu/6uwz
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.

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  (562): When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed. http://tfl.nu/ppx1
  Replies (0) Good night (607) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.

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  (+44): Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later. http://tfl.nu/23tp
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (314)

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