i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!