it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
