Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wish I could teleport

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  (810): I wish I could teleport http://tfl.nu/48ko
  Replies (13) Good night (1559) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.

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  (647): You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened. http://tfl.nu/1lek
  Replies (32) Good night (18352) Bad night (876)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.

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  (304): its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god. http://tfl.nu/qi32
  Replies (5) Good night (6541) Bad night (683)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.

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  (860): he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit. http://tfl.nu/apjr
  Replies (37) Good night (1220) Bad night (6059)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass

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  (515): theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass http://tfl.nu/ckyi
  Replies (39) Good night (5034) Bad night (2765)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them

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  (443): they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them http://tfl.nu/300a
  Replies (25) Good night (4696) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.

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  (516): Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer. http://tfl.nu/tp9x
  Replies (5) Good night (2308) Bad night (850)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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  (816): I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are http://tfl.nu/18r6
  Replies (4) Good night (1093) Bad night (1642)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.

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  (705): Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night. http://tfl.nu/58lp
  Replies (18) Good night (1021) Bad night (4015)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.

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  (563): I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating. http://tfl.nu/5u43
  Replies (2) Good night (1148) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!

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  (587): Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?! http://tfl.nu/tyzg
  Replies (19) Good night (2217) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.

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  (256): IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS. http://tfl.nu/wp8w
  Replies (0) Good night (901) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested

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  (914): Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested http://tfl.nu/5edf
  Replies (4) Good night (1770) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.

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  (412): I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again. http://tfl.nu/wa46
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Did you at least offer to let him get it out??

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  (901): I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment. (662): Did you at least offer to let him get it out?? http://tfl.nu/gv0l
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (349)

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