so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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