Tell her she can't have a vagina
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
