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• (406): View more from Montana

  Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.

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• (925): View more from California

  Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.

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• (661): View more from California

  May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  i want to swaddle you in tequila

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.

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• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Naked. Naked is my favorite color.

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