I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can feel your judgement through the phone