My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
