What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize