Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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