people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
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You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
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I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie