I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead