Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
