remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
