just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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