Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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