oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
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Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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