Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
