The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
