don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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