did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
