I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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