Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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