just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
