does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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