Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
